If there is one thing you learn at a mountain bike dirt jam, it's never put your hand up a female biker when she bends over to tighten her cranks.
Other things that can be learnt though, are that emo kid bmxers should stop wearing womens jeans. It looks gay and we don't need to see it.
Today was the Chicksands Dirt Jam and 2X (Duel/Dual/2X) race. See previous post for Chicksands info, but needless to say it was pimpin.
Many many pro's turned up, most who I don't recognise, they're so famous, and some that I've never met, but did recognise so frequently gave verbal to.
Alright Mr Coe?...
Anyhows, this is gonna be long, so on with the action.
This is Tim having a waz on his car. Tim's car sounds like a jet, but goes more like a crop duster, although I'm informed it 'had' an Impreza tuther night...
Stu is driving (and gurning), Mark is in the front, Andy is in the back doing girl screams.
At the back is Stu's car, in the middle, Tim's Impreza beating jet-car, and at the front the Glenn mobile. Alan would be in this photo, but he in his car was probably about 10 minutes behind.. Keep up Alan.
EDIT, All information for this photo is wrong. This is infact a rider called Pat, who went for flip no handers and flip x-ups, rides for Identiti, and isn't Glen Coe, so therefore I was not abusing him.
This is Glen Coe (not our glenn from above, rather the Identiti Bikes sponsored double backflip kid one) doing a flip, as he does. frequently. I was probably giving him some abuse at this time.
This BMX'er had turndowns so clicked I don't know how he didn't rip his emo-kid girls trousers.
I really like this photo, tree to frame the right hand side, sun glare, well over-flat table. Lovely.
It took me an age to get Stu and Mark into this gay pose, then we had to wait for a biker to pass by. I have no idea why they played along. Twats.
Here 'our boy' hAndy pulls a full X-up. Intya.
This is a pimp-ass 360, and somehow he also land's it. Dude's about halfway through here so is going backwards 10ft in the air, sick.
Here's Jon, with no fucking H, doing an X. He does 'em good, even with rickets and bent legs.
Overview of the Jump Jam with the main line on the left with the queue.
F.A.G.S. (Factory Adam Goes Slow) once again turning up randomly some-where we're at. I love this boy, racer stylee to the max. He is the next Steve Peat.
On a bonus note he is also working in Les Gets this winter and drinks like a fish so times will be had.
Nac Nac, love this trick. Will learn it.
360 Indian Air, too moto-cross to be real. Which is handy cos he crashed.
Abondon Bike. Better to get rid of it than land on it.
This is Mike smith mid nose low 360. It looks in this photo as if he is about to live the rest of his life being fed through his spleen. However he actually lands this perfectly, and silently, and I came on the spot.
Some of the Jam sponsers were giving away stuff to the kids if they cheered loudly. This led to friendly bundles to get tee-shirts, grips, etc. So friendly that one kid got his tooth chipped in the fight for a pair of £7 shitty grips. Worth it.
Andy got a tyre by fighting of pre-teenagers. That's hardcore man.
I love this shot, it looks very MBUK good photo. Which is rare in MBUK.
Superman seatgrap by Smith. Super extended, super trick, fuck yes boyo.
Tailwhip on a mountain bike. These are rare. Which makes sense because I only recall him riding away from one out of about 30 attempts.
Glenn Coe bailing some off-axis backflip 360 god knows what attempt.
Soo many highlights, such a bad Memory to try to pass them onto you. I particulariyl liked Ross Tricker screaming at the kids to clear the second jump of the set or he would run them down, only to proceed to crash on the first jump and get no-where near to where they were in the way.
Also the many randoms that said hi to me that I vaguelly recognised but knew not from where or why. And to f.a.g.s. for going super nice off that 30mph drop in. flooooaaaaaty. love it.
Here's Jon, with a definate lack of an H, looking gormless at Burger King.
I took this photo of Alan because I fancied the bird behind him, but not too much is on show because Al is in theway.
On the way back myself and Jon, get a fucking H, passed the time by taking photo's of the cars passing us on the motorway seeing if we could cause a car-crash with the camera flash.
The best result was the van driver Jon, gay H'less boy, photo'd, who took it badly and proceeded to rape the rear of my car with his full-beams on for the entire of the traffic works on the M25. har de har.
This is stu's car on the road. Obviously.
Some girl I thought was cute till I saw the photo.
A jogger in Chelmsford. Tonight.
Todays Softcore: (Not So) Tiny Alexis, and her gallery
Interestingly enough, if you change the 3 in the gallery address to a 1 or 2, you get more galleries. super cool