High Life

2011-06-19T15:21:00.006+01:00

So Blogspunks, today High'zine ended up at the supercar show at Hedingham Castle. Invited along by Sam showing off his Porch GTRS360RTurboCaverne, which I didn't get any pictures of, fail.

Here's some of the other highlights. I'm not gonna pretend I can name which cars are which, I'm just above the stage of calling them things like 'the pretty red one'.

It's a true fact that things look better when views from the window of a castle

Hard to believe, but the evidence is there

I'm assuming porn baron in this one

This is a very pretty red one

If you've got matching cars you may as well park in formation

Poser shot!

One of my highlights of the event was standing at the breakfast van, chatting to the two ladies, who were clearly from central london. As well as being loud as you like, as soon as they found out the cars belonged to the drivers (rather than being there for companies), they endeavored to give out free bacon sarnie and try to bag a rich boyfriend by the end of the day.

The subtlety makes this one a winner

I like big butts and I cannot lie.

Don't worry, I got you filthy lot some women porn as well as cars.

Well, I hope you lot enjoyed that little display, I know I certainly did. So just to finish you off, so to speak, here's Betty C and her Gallery

2011-06-18T18:41:00.004+01:00

Hidey Bloody Hi blogbums.

Today was a sepia day, there's no good reason for having a sepia day, but sometimes brown's just the colour of choice.

It's done nothing but fucking rain on and off all day today, but none-the-less, after fighting off a hangover with Zombie Kriss, I endured

A little trip out on the bike between rain showers did little to solve the lack of motorbike time miseries I've been suffering

None-the-less I went and found a little dream cottage. Though I'd probably go for glass windows as opposed to wood

Then bizarrely in town they had gypsie dancers, who were pretty damn average to be honest

Except for the ones that were pretty hot.

2010-04-16T21:42:00.003+01:00

Yo riders one and all

Some of you have probably come on looking for Woburn or Chicky pictures by now, but due to me having knackered my wrist, fixed my motorbike and other such event's I'm slacking.

On it I promise, but here's some teasers straight from camera.

Softcore later

2009-10-08T22:42:00.004+01:00

If you people haven't heard of The Cat Empire, you bloody damn well should have. Oiks.

Welcome to this post Bloglusters!

It was my paps birthday a few weeks back. I say paps because I want to sound with it like hillbillies and shizzle. But I digress, it was, and as I couldn't think of any non-shit presents, I took him to Santa Pod for the day for the Euro Drag racin champs. If you ever get the chance to go see the top fuel cars, its in a different world to what you can even imagine, they shake your eyes from your head, your chocolate bon bons from your arse and your nose from your mates arse. I mean, what?

Either way, they're damn loud and burn all the air within the nearest continent. Go see it.

I did

What I also did is take a hell of a lot of photo's. But heres a very small number of them.

I cant emphasis enough how ridiculous these are up close, their fuel comes from the tank to the engine through two pipes that are a good inch or so inside each.

Not the view following a normal car.

Loved how some of these were getting towed around the pits by little fiesta's, others by huuuge 4x4's, and the funny cars just drove about on their own. Seeing them just pottering round at about 5mph as you walk through is bizarre to whole new levels.

I've got soo many pictures of crazy cars like these, almost everything you can imagine has been done, there was even a Sierra.

Because it was the big event of the year there was also loads of other stuff going on, including these guys hitting up the FMX, and the street bike skillz bois

Did I mention, go to santa Pod.

You want more softcore, you whore.

So this is Shyla (and her gallery) which is I guess the US version of Sheela, which just doesn't sound as sexy

2009-10-08T21:58:00.004+01:00

So, where to start Blogscummers?

Well, the best place to start I suppose; with pictures of women. In this case Nata, who confirmed her place in the 'epic person' league table right at the top by pretty randomly and on the spot agreeing to a weekend of chillage in the village after a bored friday conversation.

It basically involved an epic drive,

an epic drive back, a little riding, then a good amount of drinking and smoking. Of which none was caught on camera (except that one pic..). I'm well out of practise in keeping up a photo based blog!

What was caught on camera was the next day in the sunshine at the local grass-track meet.

The sun even shone, and I wore my high end aviators like a champ

This guy was fucking amazing, and pretty much balls out thrashed everyone in every race he was in. Including the last race but one where his sidecar guy fell off, caught his ankle in the back wheel, and the guy kept racing for 2 more laps to win it before stopping to sort his mate out.

That was all a lie, it was just the only good picture I got of anyone riding that day, he probably lost loads.

We figured it was time to go when Nat was spending her time writing swear words in her fingernail varnish.

All round though, good Skillz Nat.

If I went into robotwars, I'd take this fucker and kick the shit out of all the kids toys

As it is, I just drive around with it in a trailer pretending its something way cooler than a stump grinder.

But it's still pretty damn cool. Admit it, you want one.

This is George and Hats on their way to a fancy dress party as board games.

I decided i didnt want to carry loads of drink to this, as we had to trek across London, so I decided a coupla cans of beer and a bottle of JD would do. Matt took one of the cans of beer, I got on the JD. Illness followed way too soon after.

So back to the awesome stuff I get to do at work, like the robotwars thing above. Here's the Star Wars day. Or Attack of the Killer Bees or something

It doesn't seem very nice cutting up bee's nests, and it isn't, but then you cunts should stop complaining about them when they're near pavements, children, the disabled etc.

They are pretty awesome though, thoroughly convinced me I want bee's. i mean how much mischief are you gonna be able to get up to with your own army of trained bees. You could paint them all with a spray can too so they look like they're a proper army and that.

This is Noel and Liv. Noel hates being online so luckily he won't find this for yonks.

Recently after I moved to this place I'm in now, I decided to take back some treebushhedge, and the only reasonable way to get rid of stuff is to burn it, as you should all know. And if it doesn't burn, get a hotter fire.

Noel took to this theory well, and kept the fire raging, with Laurel tree, which gives off bad cancer when you burn it. And burns through the fire bucket. And the panel underneath. And the grass.

That'll learn me.

So You lot have trawled through a lot there, and I respect that (unless you just skipped to the rude pictures, in which case I hate you), and I've also listened to consumer feedback, and it basically revolves around "good softcore, give more". So softcore.

Because I haven't posted in yonks, I feel like this is a little bit of a comeback, and as such, in respect of the old time, Raven Riley used to come up a lot (the minx), so I thought it fair to bring her back again (and her gallery).

And just 'cos I love you and your filthy ways, heres Eden Petty and her gallery.

Seeya Hobos

2009-09-23T19:11:00.006+01:00

What are you, a nonce?

You know when you get blood in water, it always looks like there is more blood than there is. Y'know, if you cut your arm and it's raining it runs everywhere.

Try getting a decent nosebleed in a shower, it's fucking AmaZing. It's worth inflicting semi-serious self harm to experience this people, it's like dancing with the devil under a fountain in Paris, or being at the bottom of a genocide waste pile. You kinda feel you have to try to breathe in to make the blod slow, clot, whatever, but at the same time you know if you breathe out a bit its just gonna be so much cooler.

If you're hemophobic, probably best someone is in the house if you're gonna try this. But still give it a go like.

Similarly, but different, some people recommend stopping using a razor when it feels blunt. Some people recommend stopping using a razor when it's beyond blunt and begins to cut fairly frequently. But these people are not the sort of people who would go into a music store, and purchase a pack of guitar strings that contain six, yes all 6, wound strings. Just because they're dearer and come in a shiney purple packet.

These people have faces clear of little bits of blood stained toilet paper, and will, as a presumption, also play a gig tomorrow night and have fingers unagonised by daft guitar set-ups on whims. These people will probably succeed.

Hey you Fucks, it's High'Zine.

In realisation that there are a few things missing from my life at the moment, notably excessive consumption, irresponsible drug use, and most recently sexua, erm, female companionship (and I do go through these phases quite often where I vow to change 1-3 of these to more frequent attainment) a plan must be formed.

Well it kinda falls into place sometimes, 'cos in the next 3 days we have 3 gigs in hopefully busy bars, and while I can't drink at these good times can be had at least and its hopefully a chance to be a bit silly and prat about, without a care.

*phone rings*

"Hi Dad!, hows it going

Yeah great, good good, and you?

Yeah, few gigs actually, were in town tomorrow yeah

You and mum are coming along,.. right. ok."

That doesn't happen in American trendy movies. Well, American Pie aside, but thats a poor example for hoping for success, moral ending aside.

What the fuck, you guys are thinking. since when did you write inane shite on here, this had become a photo blog. Well, because of the way blogger works I'm gonna put them in new posts, which means they'll be above this. how fucked up.

'tever

2009-05-09T20:55:00.007+01:00

What's Happenin Blogfucks

Guess I should say sorry for not gettin these pics up when I said I would, but shit's been hectic as it generally is.

For example, one day I made a curry, and on thursday I had a crap. Thursday might have been the day after curry I guess?

'Tever, back to the IssuE at hand, Chicksands last weekend. Which is what REALLY counts in life. That and Megan Fox. Which SHITSNDS (copywrite Jamie) had none of, so is in that sense alone a fail.

Because I'm too lazy to shift photo's around you'll find bunches of them together, like 10 of Jon (traded his H for a night in Soho). Which is unpro, but deal with it. You ain't paying my bills.

As for names, I got a bit lost, their was a coupla Sams, a George, an Ally and some others beside's me an H-less, so I'm pretty much gonna allocate names randomly. You know what you were wearing.

1 Foot X
So George wanted to learn no footers at the start of the day, and then he was getting these tight within about 2 hours. As in he couldn't take his feet off the pedals 2 hours earlier. Fucking yeah

And Sam couldn't do no handers before this session, I mean what the hell, grow some fear. Bastards

SHITSNDS got fucked with. pwned and all that shizzle
Ha Jon (looking for his H behind his pube)
Tuck like a fuck boy, if only those knee's were out.

Hey Jon (Punk rock stole his H), you only got some style yeah. what what.

Love this shot for some reason. As often happens H got in the way, but the shot's still good.
Rickets?

No-one's riding, so I get the camera out hoping to gee people up a bit, and this is the shit I get
Believe it or not, this took a shed-load of attempts and I still didn't get the X fully round. But it was. I think this was the last attempt cos Jon (less H's than I have H gags) nearly got his head taken off
No footed Nac, nameless rider
Fuck-sakes
Careful looking shows G has his hand off mid X here. This wasn't intentional, and the thought of it is just wrong, but he got it back somehow.

In case any of y'all hadn't worked it out, you can click on the pics for full size and to save 'em.

So seeing as PC Mike only comes on here for softcore, Thought I better sort some out this time like.

So todays softcore is a bit of a cop-out on my part 'cos it's a photoshoot from a lads mag. But when the lads mag is a fuckin great as Front is, and the lass is as fyne as India is, who gives a shit. Gallery here

2008-09-28T19:45:00.005+01:00

Alright You Brighton fuckers. I've done it. Sorted through the lot. Chose the ones where you guys look least gay and such forth.

Pestering me clearly worked as to be honest, I'd forgotten about them, and there's some better shots than I remembered. Namely the one of that birds arse. Sweet.

Anyhow, they're here in a rough rider order.

For those who don't understand the above rant. You're clearly not scene enough to hang with the Danbury (s)Crew. So go out, spray your bike a different colour for every ride, tell everyone suss is gay, then ride it anyway, and offend beach front vendors. then we might let you hang with us.

So we took a little roadtrip to Brighton a coupla weeks back, hit some skateparks, hit some street, hit some old ladies, hit on some men (well, it is Brighton). Normal shit.

Let me introduce the pikies on their kids bikes:

L-->R Alan, Jamers, Stu, Jon (get a slagging H)

Alan, Urban riding, check. Airborne, check. Still wearing clips. Check.

Jamers, Brakeless, big bmx. No lies

Arty shot eh. Poser
If both wheels were orange this photo would be 68% better

Cheeky Girl. Touch My Bum

Check out the Knee's in BMX style. Cock

When in Brighton, Do as the Statues do

Jo*n (No H, what a s*it)
Yeah yeah, moto style. Love it. Jon (sold his H for a Brap) Self

Jon (a gay guy raped me for my H), knee's in, arms out.

Some Random BMXer, bars over the gap. We see this dude (not the dude below, another bmx dude) hitting a quarter to tyre-tap on the back wall to hop back in, real big, real fast. We get in the car back home, Jamie pulls out a bmx mag, and lo and behold, same BMX'er doing an interview. Dunno who he was though, some cunt on a mini bike. Probably with crap brakes
Stuart, popping, then having a downhill wet grass run-out. Good luck yeah.
Stuart, racer boi style down the stairs. Only hucker left in the group at the mo, eh Stu!

And some softcore of course. Wost part of all having to search good softcore out. Prividing a service I am.
Anyhow, a nameless Playboy model and her gallery

2008-08-18T21:17:00.006+01:00

Things to say, people to do.

Danbury common.
Dodgy light
Blurry pictures
Gays on bikes.
Normal High'zine stuff. Lets hope I can find some decent softcore to make up for the pictures eh.

More pics if people want them, email me or leave a comment with yours.

^^ man of many fucking words tonight. Need more tea.

Lets some up the above and below photo in one comment.

"Ben, you arse"

Shag

Jon, table. Height. no rickets.No fucking H

Stuart Gilbertson. You are a racer. Don't buy a bmx. Homo

Yeah. "sick kid". Frame that you ho.

"Guys, guys. Was that flat. I don't think I'm getting them flat."
'tever

Nick, Arse out. Knows he should be on a susser making moto noises

Jamie, 3 with an X. And Bens super freaky alien wrist gets in shot. Arsebandit

More engine revving noises needed, get that tail higher!

Nameless, tabled to nose in, and bright wheels. All that's needed.

More moto on a hardtail. 6" out the back next time and some fenders.

Anyhow. Maybe next weekend I'll actually take a flash. Or just lay in and watch Hollyoaks as usual.

Can't be long till a bike is back under my groin, I'm itching in anticipation, or disease.

Till then. Some softcore, as you'd expect.
Can't remember if this stunning nameless lass has been featured before. If someone can prove to me so I'll appologise deeply and find more. Till then, enjoy her gallery

2008-05-17T21:39:00.002+01:00

Nature Report
high'zine will no longer deal with bikes drugs and music, but will bring you photo's of Bee's. And softcore.

the first Online blog to deal exclusively for those that like to learn about bee's while masturbating. You wait, it's a growing market

Dirty fucks
Bee sneezed while rolling. Desperately searching for all those bits of green lost in the carpet/

I'm so good, I taught a bee to do a handstand. Next, teaching a wasp to give oral.

This was my attempt to prove I'm not a hippy. It infact proved I'm just one of those weird blokes that wanders round woods in the evening.

.So if you look like this girl does. Beware
her gallery.

2008-05-12T20:40:00.003+01:00

Hey hey. Can it be true?
Riding photo's on High'Zine. And not only that, ones from the local spot with the local riders (insert too easy "locals" joke here). See we still do ride bikes, fuckin A.

Ben, No Footed can. To the pedals, obviously.

Ben, 3 attempt that came out as a tucked 180. Fair play, still looked fucking cool

Jon (oh wherefore art my H) tucking like the MBUK cover boy he is.

Stu got fully bullied into repeating this over and over, and after it all, the first shot was the best anyway. Never mind eh, practice makes perfect ay.
Also my entry for this months UKMB forum photo comp, so I'm relying on you Stuart

.
Jamie, dump 3's spot on all day, just gotta glue those feet to the pedals. Failed for not ripping his trousers this time.

Is that a table being laid Jon. Big on the hippage.

"I can do 'em anywhere me"

Well, do ya?
she might, have to ask at her gallery.

2008-02-17T22:59:00.004+01:00

Hey Hey Blogparkrats
Another weekend, another visit to Chicksands, and another day of me failing to get my bollocks in gear and ride the new line, which ain't that new anymore to be honest.

But my failing aside, it was a good day down the playpen all round, and even late boy Al turned up before the crack of sunset.

I didn't however get the camera out till the sun was lower than your mum in a rap battle telling you how your sister takes it. So that's why it's all shit innit, but it gives a clue I suppose. Although ignores all the fun in the freeride park and the gate start practise, which is where most of the day was spent on my part.

Tailwhip to pedals, clean each time I recall

Jon Jon side on. Showing less rickets than previous appearances on this hallowed place.
So Sam, why don't you try a flip? Don't want to, then get out our club, no really, we hate you if you don't do it.

But really, the peer pressure on him to try these flips was evil, but it worked, so bullying campaigns worldwide are wrong.
I can flip, therefore Sam must. It's one theory I'll give you.
Jon Jon (is that an H on the floor there?), laying it down flat. I guess luck put me in the right time and place to see his one moment of style.
Ben, why not turn up and get styled through the new line within a few hours. Fine.
I reckon it must be easy to ride really..
Jon (get a fucking H), rickets. All normality is returned

2008-01-20T23:18:00.001+01:00

And while we're at it, might as well get it all here while I'm in the typing mood.

A few pics from my travels around the UK with the new motor.
Very few pics from an amazing couple of weeks that involved snow, narrowly avoiding sleeping rough, and generally being saved by mates left right and centre, so cheers to all whom helped and who let me come see them.

The Landy clean before leaving, and previous to pissing oil, and getting flats every 2 minutes.

Jess's first, and waking up in a tent, in a field with a horse looking in. This moment made me realise how much comedy happens when you don't plan your days.

Beach Head lighthouse. A beautiful scene, from a pretty disturbing place. Unless you're like us, and find it all pretty amusing.

Birmingham, brought the New World Disorder 8 premier, no sound, but the UKMB.net crew and a good night. Though too much walking around alone in an unfamiliar city running late for my liking.

Manchester, and the start of the journey home.

Oh yeah, more softcore of course.

First off, cowgirl Kathy, and her gallery of course

And then Mindy Vega. Gotta lvoe those latina gals and their galleries

2008-01-20T22:42:00.000+01:00

Woaha, way to fucking long BlogSmegs. Sorry guys and those with vagina's. Loads of excuses, all just that.

New job as a tree surgeon in training, or as Lydie chooses to explain it: "You are a tree murderer, you fucking tree killer". So much for my thinking it was a pretty good ethical job decision.

Anyhows, some kunt robbed us this week, so I'm back off work until more toys are bought.

Navacross, the new band needs plugging as ever, so get your filthy arses over to www.myspace.com/navacross Make us your friends, suck us off royally and such forth, and be prepared to part with money when we record something. We deserve your money more than you do, think of us as those amusing tramps that do little dances and by lowering themselves as such, they win your elitist hearts and take a donation to pay off their embarrassment.

Thats clearly a metaphor for Navacross, if you see my point.

The main reason it's been slow here though, is I've taken no fucking photo's, partly cos I'm slack, partly because the world lights are on dim for a few months, and partly as every dry day I try to spend wearing out chains rather than shutter fingers.

New years and all that was well documented on the book of faces, and the photo's from there were drunken and unworthy of a site of this quality.

So in terms of filling the spaces, and giving me a post I can end in softcore (which has been building up, which needs no metaphor) I'm gonna present an early morning photo project:

Colours of a Winter Morn. Pretty fucking self explanatory, and not unpretty either.

.

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.

.

.

.

.

And Softcore
and pretty fucking good softcore too if you ask me. Which no fucker would if they knew their porn.

First off Ulya and her gallery
But wow, Stacy, arn't you just a stunner, and her gallery

2007-11-11T22:14:00.001+01:00

So the last Chicksands Jam of the year, possibly the last UK Dirt Jam of the year happened today.

And it was fokin packed out. Great to see, though turning up and getting sheparded into parking spaces was a novel experience. You have to wonder if the large numbers were helped by the fact the normal £5 fee was waived for the day.

Rolling down to the jumps fairly early while it was only half full, I decided against the main lines on the full susser in order not to mess it up for the BMX boys who've spent all week digging that soft sand to masterpieces. Though you know the first cased twist is gonna ruin it all, but the thought counds and all that.

The Jam was officially meant to start at midday, but that came andwent, as did one o'clock and still no-one was any the wiser. And aside from the two sponsers tents who'd set up for the day (sorry, guys, I forget the companies, but some lovely Commencal bikes on display, so possibly their importer? Bikeactive or something?) I couldn't really spot 'judges' from the sit and watch crowd. All the riders had no idea what was going on either, but were going big for the crowds in true open jam style.

As far as I'm aware there was no actual mention of the comp at all until someone said it was finishing at 3 (this was about half 2) and we went from there.

All the regular Chicksands top riders were there, whose I struggle to name not being a regular jumper, but Dowie, Pilgrim and such were all in attendance.

It was also good to bump into Si Brettle, who I haven't seen for a few years now, and he's been getting his names in mags more frequently, but he's still a top lad. Kicked my arse on the 4X track, and was adding some great moto style to the jump lines, though you can tell the freeriders from the purist jumpers from miles back. Good to see variety though.

In terms of tricks, nothing majorly new was coming out. 360's seem to be loosing their 'dump' nose down style, didn't see a single off-axis flip or front-flip, though their were riders there that can do them.

Back-flip variations are still in, flip no-handers, flip-supermans (kind of's) And a guy I dont recognise going for some backflip-tailwhip variation that could have had a 360 or something else thrown in, but it was strange, and he as good as landed it.

Special mention to a rider called 'Stinky' (he wasn't riding one so I've no idea about the nick-name) who ended up in a pile beside me on the floor, shouted, rolled about and generally flailed. When asked what was wrong, he lept up shouting " flipped the first, I fucking flipped the first". Which he then went off to do another 3 times thanks to crowd chanting, each time landing the flip then smashing into whatever happened to be to the sides of the second take-off. Comedy genious.

Prizes were finally given out almost completely randomly (with the now compulsary free-stuff throw), to whom-ever tried hardest, had a laugh etc etc. In other words the big names got nothing, the kids pushing their all got free helmets and tyres. Best of all, the 'grand prize', so to speak; A Commencal Absolute full build, was given to some lad that had spent all day trying to clear the two smallish table-tops and getting gradually closer. In fact, while the prize was called, he was still off riding them, and the crowd called him over on mass, looking totally bemused as to why 50 people were shouting at him, to be given a brand new bike. Shocked he was, but a great touch.

As a final touch, Stu stole my bike to ride the 4X in full moto-gear. High speed required.
And the land-rover got all the way to Chicky and back without any more wheels falling off. Sweet

2007-11-05T18:37:00.001+01:00

Autumns a funny old season. It as if it literally strips the colour from the world for a few months. Once the initial goldening of the plants has passed, the landscape becomes bleak beyond belief. Even the berries turn red to brown.

But it does make you look around harder, and when you do find a glimpse of colour it sticks out, shows itself where in the summer it would be lost. Even winters have the crisp clear days that make taking photo's a joy, but in the overcast autumn days you really have to focus on the odd leaf, sign, object that holds onto it's pride while everything around it gives in to the blossoming cold.

Even cemetaries loose their summer warmth, their winter 'chills' and just fade into the background mist.

All shots from Danbury on a day that isn't nice, isn't cold, isn't wet, isn't dry. Natures likes to set a challenge sometimes I guess.

You Gotta Love Kermit

Real life commuting.

2007-11-04T23:19:00.000+01:00

Yah, So it's a photo-blog now. If you don't like it you know where to fuck off to.

But I know you do, 'cos you want my ass babies, so enjoy.

2007-10-31T21:27:00.000+01:00

So we're born into this country, where for better or for worse,
we've got no real life choices, just to die or to work?
Of course democracy means we all have a say
but the strongest minority truelly get their way.
When you think of other states where the force is the rule
You think terrorism, dictatorship and other things cruel.
But there they have guns and jails and tribes
Here we're ruled by whoever you bribe.

So aside from finding an Island deserted
Or hoping this crazy world gets inverted,
All I can manage is frequent daydreams
About finding a beach full of timber for beams.
And I spend my days building a boat,
trips to the market to keep it afloat.
Occasionally walk to the town for a beer,
maybe a friend to share harvested gear.
Ands nights with the stars, or a modest home for the rains
Fuck back home, and bloody insurance claims.

So I'm still dreaming of getting away. But for now, new old motor hopefully turns up next week and a little bit of a road-trip around the country should follow. Will be good to see everyone again. If they'll have me of course.

A few bevvies and a bag of green, in a truck of guitars and a bike. Doesn't sounds too bad. Shame it doesn't run on air (and shame don't either really).

fuck it, I'm not at work and it's somewhere else. If it was sunny and warm it'd be almost everything I wanted.

Talking of fucking it...

Please take some respect and put it aside for Ulya (and her gallery)

and Daisy (and her gallery)

2007-10-29T22:48:00.001+01:00

Still alive, barely.

2007-10-03T23:00:00.000+01:00

Long time no see BlogSkullFuckers. Facebook, the social networking site and killer of Blogs. Who needs to read here for my life details when they can be neatly summarised in table form?

Fancy Dress parties, pub meetings, it's all more fun when you can poke some-one about it.

So maybe the blog world needs to fall back on culture, sophistication, education even in order to survive. Cunt-fuck.

And un-necessary out of place cursing of course.

Photo-shop has again been pulling me to the sides, and I present you a couple of pieces I quite like.

i haqve more softcore collected up than you could care to imagine. I can't just leave my responsibilities behind now, that would leve me with nothing.

As there's been no bike talk of recent (riding seems to prioritise over photography, which I'm fairly proud of) have some cycle porn. Quite literally (gallery)

And some Hippy porn, as hippies rock, and it reminds me of the Psychadelic Fancy Dress party (gallery)

2007-09-11T19:45:00.001+01:00

Just as a prequel to the majority of this post, I thought I could suprise you with a little speciality tonight. Like a wordy-wise twist of the tongue, I've got a new word for the language. Not sure what it means yet, but I like trying to say it.

ofbiouslyon
try it, you might just like it. And if you work out what it means, I'll send you a High'Zine prize. Answers on the comments section.

No message as such, just the huge spunk-shot in the eye that is this Mk1 Escort.

Fine, and this little minx, and her gallery

2007-08-30T23:28:00.001+01:00

Extreme Mountain Biking Mormons. The Movie...

2007-08-30T20:07:00.000+01:00

Seeing as it seems at least one person reads this, I better resume service as normal. By putting up one picture, some porn, then realising that once again I have nothing to write-about.

Considering it's Critical Mass tomorrow, and the last critical mass write up was 2 posts down, I think I need to work harder.

So here's a photo. Best I can manage. Might be photo-shopped (read: is photoshopped, I did it), but arn't the coolest things always fake. Some field near Hanningfiled on a ride.

So I don't know if you guys have heard of MovieLOL, and their in progress film I.P. (Intellectual Porn), but these crazy Belgians are on top of their game.

It started as a policical group of youngsters who decided to reply to one of their politicians promising 400,000 new jobs if elected. Tania, their attractive representative offered 400,000 blow-jobs if thier party was elected.

While a stunt, and a genius one (see todays softcore, and this video response to the 400,000 blow-jobs), it attracted worldwide attention for the group, and they' have continued in a new direction.

Tania from N.E.E.

Video response:

So, anyway, away from the Softcore, and back to the point (I've forgotten I had one to be honest), they're newest venture it to make a movie, on zero budget, that is filmed to hollywood standards.

They send out weekely video-updates, and I can't encourage you enough to sign up, as they have me in tears every time.

For more on NEE political, and more pics of Tania

To find out about the movie and sign up for the updates (really, it's not like they pay me to say this, it just is THAT good)

[oh, and you can sign up to be Tania sex partner in the filming..]

2007-08-26T22:58:00.001+01:00

This guy is a fucking idiot.
And I feel he could do with riding a bike

I Rock Though

And so does Stu
Aston Hill Today

And so does Melanie and her gallery

2007-08-08T20:04:00.000+01:00

So BlogFuckers.

Preparing for SITS this weekend. Kona Sleepless In The Saddle 24 hour XC race. Of course I don't pedal so I will be drinking and wearing fancy dress. Or mechanicing as my team call it.

My theme for the weekend will be the 1930's. The facial hair is coming along nicely:

I fucking rock.

New postie today, she turned up around half 6pm. Good service. Then looking at her, I first thought 'I'd give that a good service'.

Zooming in proved me wrong. Blurryness provided by 112 year old glass, and not photo-shop.

A door-knob. Get arty. Fuckwits.

So, these are politics joke messages really. There is no specific message to them as such, just to raise a smile, and hopefully get people that usually don't, to think politics for a minute or two. They seemed to raise a smile at least.

Danbury Crossing (check out how my own car is driving past as I take the photo. Skillz)

Chelmsford Duke Street (check out the amazing exercise bike handlebars on the cyclists ride)

Chelmsford Town Hall

More locations to come for sure, and hopefully a big SITS update when return.

Finally, back to Softcore, Back to Raven Riley, and she's still looking good in her gallery

2007-07-30T21:28:00.000+01:00

Hey Blogfailures

This here should have been my little 'Critical Mass Was Again Amazing' section, because it truelly was, however I tried to be clever and film a lot of it to make you all a nice little video, but a combination of my stilsl camera producing random format movie files, and Movie Maker being truelly appaling resulted in a lack of video. Utter Bollocks

Anyhow, here's one, sitting outside the couriers pub, very early in the ride. CM usually ends here, but seemed to go straight here, I suspect the guy at the front just wanted to go for a pint, and the mass blindly followed him, but either way, amusing confusion was had.

See here for a full review

Anyhows, just to keep you amused, another clever bit of hippedy hop from Dan Le Sac enjoy:

2007-07-29T20:30:00.000+01:00

Hola Blogfrogs, back on UK soil.

So, back from France for a 2 week holiday. No working this year, tempting though it was, bankruptcy got in the way like a sword through a babies chest. Anyhow, not many riding pics, as we rode rather than taking pictures, and not many drinking pics, as we drank rather than taking photo's, but needless to say, nuff of both was done.

Start as you mean to go on and all. Lazy twats. Though if you got your lying position right, you could upskirt women on the floor above via window reflections..
What an amazing van..
DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK? and the female passenger was hot too.
It rained gently for the first three days. Though the tracks were still dusty. My fucking arse they were.

A slidy mudfest for the first few days provided many offs, and got myself and Ivor well on our way to the five crash's each, shared win for the holiday. Ad pulled 3 off, all stayed upright throughout. Waster.

High'Zine looking damned foxy by the 'Shore. As fucking always. I rock.
And look, I do some riding as well as posing for the camera. And I still fucking rock.

Myself and my lovely Katherine, whom made a great biking holiday so much better than just that.

'The Group' sans Ivor at the band night. 5 Inch snails, fantastic cover band, and moshing ensued leading to a happy mosh-pit, but some injuries amongst the watching crowd. That's what you get for being too pussy to mosh. Ya cunts

High'Zine, Kat and Al came back from the pub, hmm, bikes are missing, mild panic. Bikes were found. Sheets were no longer clean.. Fucking funny Boomerang Boi's, reet fucking funny

Granted, it was damned funny though.

Pilots have Heads Up Displays for dull information like shooting Russians or laughing when British troops are shown on them, briefly, before firing anyway. Our van has a far more useful HUD. Drivers can no longer fall asleep at the wheel.

This got us across France without a hiccup, but not quickly. Not quickly at all

Not that it was a long drive (22 hours on the way over, 17 on the way home), but you can tell it was a party atmosphere the whole way. Even my constant flash photography throughout the drive failed to cheer them up..

Great softcore, because it's been too long, so have twice as much

So here is Karla Spice and her gallery, and some bodypaint.

And a special treat of Ivette Blanche and her gallery

2007-06-20T22:28:00.000+01:00

Evening Roadie Fix Bloggers.

Just a quick photoblog of some sunny shots from the ride to Maldon, where we sat, drank beer and righted the world wrongs.

1
2
3

Morris Dancers are crack whores.

Todays Softcore, Kyla Cole, and her gallery

2007-06-20T22:15:00.001+01:00

Blog Campers Ahoy!

So, I didn't post these last week, as I was too busy crying about the broken'ness of the Brooklyn, but we did actually ride and drink down at Penshurst, and heres a few of the results.

Stuart decided to climb a tree and scare our neighbouring campers. Good ploy except they were coked to the hilt and didn't notice in the least. But a fine effort none-the-less.

Lake jumping, always a winner, as long as it is on some-ones elses bike, as was the case here. Some randoms having fun, while we sunbathed and photo'd.

X off the kicker

This is the moment that has to be captures, the terror makes it.

Decent sized drop into a pool about 4 foot deep. He hit the bottom, needless to say.

A nice shot showing how pads give comedy sun-tans and dirt marks.

Here we see how a collection of parts can add up to over 3 grand. Crazy when you look at it like this. Re-weld and re-spray on the cards.

2007-06-18T21:57:00.000+01:00

Hi Absenteeblogfucks.

It's, as ever, been too long. The reasons? As ever, crap.

To begin though, the Brooklyn is broken. God knows how, but I'm now on the search for frame builders to try to get it fixed before France which is coming up very soon.

BakerDay is starting to get some pace behind it now, check out our tunes at www.soundclick.com/bakerday or www.myspace.com/bakerday1

Thrice a week practises as well as gigs takes it's toll on blogging time, as does that ever intrusive demon that is work.

I've basically dug out a few more picture's I've found lying around I'd like to share, and some various happenings as I think of them. And I've got so much softcore stored up for this place I might have to do an entire softcore blog to clear it all sometime. Maybe not..

I'm trying to bring waistcoat's back into fashion. I'm doing this by wearing them privately in my bedroom and around the house. When we get a decent size gig I'll pull it out.

but 'til then, the 'fakenger' look

This car is soo hot...

....I took it's picture many times, but here's 2 of them

So, anyhoo, we played some mini-golf

And perved.

And here's just another shot messing about with some focus at the same place, which the name of I forget.

And some softcore of course:Her names (is clearly not) Bella Spice, and her gallery is here

2007-05-28T13:50:00.000+01:00

Critical Mass, 25th May 2007.
Massive turnout for the London ride which was great, with quite a low police presence. The ride flowed really well, although there was 1 (i think) arrest, but unsure what the reason was. Got quite a few boo's from the group, which was then promptly distracted by an under-dressed lass coming to her window to see what the fuss was outside.
She got quite a shock.

Here Stu demonstrates how to upstage a police-officer on a bike with style. Appologies for the poor photography, but it was on the move.

Here Stu demonstrates how to upstage a police-officer on a bike with style. Appologies for the poor photography, but it was on the move.

A very small part of the Critical Mass

A police bike with a Rohloff 14speed hub. We're pretty sure the copper had no idea how good this was.

Myself, Stu and (below) Phil, enjoying the grass on Trafalgar Square.

2007-05-25T11:12:00.001+01:00

Yooooooo!

Just found the video of Cam McCaul stealing his buddy's bike back from a dirty robber, justice served! Check it.....

http://www.littermag.com/videos/bikethief.html

2007-05-07T20:46:00.000+01:00

OK Back from Thai clearly. I really can't sum it up in words. Mainly because I havent slept for about 2 and a hlaf days, and have been travelling for 27 hours solid of that, so my head is spinning and I can't see the keys.

I've split this up into 3 posts for my own ease, and so you can see the photo's in the order they occured. The island of Koh Samoi, then onto Bangkok and the wedding, tehn to the northern provinces of Thailand

Koh Samoi

Second best sign ever...

The Jealousy photo's

My pleasure in photography
comes not from the resultant image
but from the moment you glimpse the scene
which brings a tear to your heart
and the challenge presented
in capturing that thought in artificial form.
so often what inspires the eye
creates only a bland sight on later viewing
that is the challenge
and on success, the thought, not the sight is retained

To see nature captured, is to take from it its' beauty.
I'd rather know only in my head that natural beauty existed,
than to have it thrust upon me in chains, and to have to view its desecration.
To know it exists and know I will never see it is more pleasureable.

Best sign ever?

To see nature captured, is to take from it its' beauty. I'd rather know only in my head that natural beauty existed, than to have it thrust upon me in chains, and to have to view its desecration.
To know it exists and know I will never see it is more pleasureable.

2007-05-07T20:30:00.000+01:00

Bangkok sites and the Wedding
Fancy

'tuk tuk's were the best way to travel. in and out the traffic, with the bonus of breathing in most of Bangkoks traffic polution every breath.

A very small part of the very 'Grand Palace' in Bangkok.

Turtles, park, city. Teenage mutant, bad film, pizza, mmmm.

Back-streets in Bangkok. Be a male on your own around here, and get offered any girl you want, to do anything you want, for any price you want. Thay actually carry laminated menu's of their girls. The amount of middle aged white men, and young Thai girls in the bars was actually pretty uncomfortable for anyone with a half normal moral standard.

Kat and Ian. Great photo. I Rock
We were in Thailand because of this wedding. Incidentally.

Kat's family photo' Kat and Ian tried their best to set me up with Naan/Nahn (3rd in from the left) who was sweet, hot and had studied English in New York, but the fact that I flew off about 5 hours after meeting didn't help much.

Go faster internals inside the wedding tranport.

The Pimpmobile. Almost every car in Thailand, however poor the district, is modded up in various ways. Often better than the attempts seen in England.

It seems to me...

that people that begin every other sentance with "I think...", do not infact think at all, but instead just speak in a directionless meander, with false 'facts' and unconsidered opinions.

2007-05-07T20:02:00.000+01:00

The Northern Regions of Thailand

Long neck tribes from the hilltop villages. Amazingly friendly people seeing as people come to stare at them.
Had to get a bike picture in somewhere. In the long-neck hilltribe villages of Chang Mai

The 'Pagoda' (no, not the band, duh). Burmese style of temple, with the rings at the top representing the various stages of heaven. Contains relics of Lord Buddha, as do most of the larger Thai temples.

An amazingly dark temple under construction by Wat Rongkhun (who has the later parts of cancer so will not live to see it's completion), but this place will be a whole new beginning of religious constructed history.

Inside the incredible temple were modernistic designs still being completed

Hill Tribe Villages in Northern Thai province of Chaing Rai

1400 years old, roughly

Not the use of umbrella's while driving mopeds. Not pictured are parents driving with 2 kids in front and 2 behind on tiny mopeds

Chinese style temple in Burmha

5Kph and red-lining. How to care for an engine Thai style

Is it wrong that I have seemingly complete distaste for the Arab nations with no apparantly supportive reason for it? The countries, culture, people, without even touching on the hypocracies of the religion, interest me no more than their prescense on the news forces me to take note of them.

I can think of no other area of the world I know so little about, yet care so little about my ignorance of. I currently see this part of the world, just as the un-attractive suburb betweens the varying highlights of the cities or the country.

Bland, uneducated and ego-centric, though whether that descrives the above subjects or myself is debatable when contexts as it has been.

2007-04-20T11:16:00.000+01:00

I'm off to Thai for a couple of weeks.
Look after yourself Y'all. Be back on the 8th of Mai

2007-04-17T18:09:00.000+01:00

Hey Blog-DeathSurvivers

First time back on the fixie today after I buggered my knee a couple of weeks back, and damned it felt good. Dropped the bars down low and it rides mint, and the whole thing was polished, polished and polished more where-ever there was silver visible so it looks great too (I thought; "If I can't ride it, I might as well pimp it)

Turned into a pretty crazy, death avoiding ride though. First off, crossing the road to ride up a low part of the pavement. A guy sitting in a parked car beside it chooses that moment to pull forward, so I swerve round him, the pedals are 12 and 6 so I fail to get up the curb and end up staggering off the bike like a goon. Jumping back up to save my pride I throw most of the 'F' words I've heard of in the car drivers direction, just to look up and see two lovely old grannies standing by me making sure I was OK. So then had to appologise to them to for polluting their ears. Double Pride dent.

Heading back out of town, and the traffic is all stopped for a bus further up the line, so I shoot down the inside, and duck under the wing-mirror of a van sitting waiting. He gets all horny on me and I ride off smiling. Then 2 minutes later, said van appears at about 50 mile an hour and almost takes the grip take off my right hand bar. There's stroppy road rage (Deal with it you cunt, bikes are faster through traffic) then there's putting some-one in hospital. I got a fist to the side of his van as he blew by, but sadly (or perhaps for the best if he was a big fucker) he didn't slow.

Finally, on a nice road back through the countryside, I'm sitting on the white line, spinning merrily, I hear a van pull out to overtake (different van, don't worry, Toyota Pick-up this time) then suddenly hear screeching tyres. As I look up I see there's a car coming in the other lane this guy has just blocked the road for, and the said car is now 4 wheels locked sliding off the side of the road.
The 4x4 carries on, I shoulder-check and the other car's stopped, then 3 more cars that were following all go by (hmm, not much love between drivers like there is between cyclists), and I decide I better check this other car is OK, so spin around and the woman inside is in a mixture of shitting herself/super angry. But she assures me she's fine, and that the pick-up driver is a 'bloody idiot' and we all go on our ways.

But either way, I got the new bike gloves I went to town for, my knee held up to the ride pretty well, and the bike shop is getting a new brake lever and some time trial bars in for me, so more pimpness to come for the fixie.

Generally an exciting ride.

So to cheer me up, here's Kate
and her playground

And finally, A video that makes me happy every time I see it, and not Just because Alexa is super hot. I must learn this dancy for a club. Anyone fancy partnering me?

2007-04-16T19:36:00.000+01:00

The problem with working is you never have time to blog. This is exacerbated by Rob leaving soon, my just gone birthday and weekend away, and a holiday coming up, so it's gonig to be quiet for a bit unless jon (H'less freak) gets some work done)

For now, a fantastic London Fixie vid from the London courier boi's.
tag ruff cut v3

Add to My Profile | More Videos

2007-04-04T23:30:00.000+01:00

Just a thought, What went wrong?

Oh, I'm also now an employed Grass-cutter, and in a band. Can't be arsed to explain.

2007-04-02T20:59:00.000+01:00

2007-03-30T23:05:00.000+01:00

More Posh photo's for your aural masterbation.

2007-03-29T23:39:00.000+01:00

Wow, what a shot to open the blog with..
This was in fact nigh on an actual scene, but with some 'shopping to clear everything up, see the explanation here
Australia has it all.

This blog is pretty much a patch-together of all the stuff I was behind on, so is full of content, and not much rambling from me. You should love it.

Here's a fantastic visual representation of the problems of using cars as the main form on transport, especially in city areas. No explanation is needed (aside from the explanation beside each photo)
sourced from here

Congestion

Thirty-five cars, stationary on the road. If they were moving at 30mph each car would need at least 10m of headway, so this is about as densely packed as cars get.

Cargo

This is the cargo. Thirty-five individual drivers.

The Invisible Bus

And this is how much space they'd take up in a bus

Mixed Mode

Here we have our thirty-five poeple getting on with life, some going into town on the bus, some cycling, some walking, a couple of small cars and a taxi.

Now, who was the problem, again?

Ok, While the above make a damned fine point about the problems with cars, on the occasion that cars are required, or just wanted (ahem), they should look like this. A fully dropped Old Skool Beetle, narrowed axles, running like new, and a body-shell looking like shit. Fucking Gorgeous.

See www.hoodride.com for more sex like this

This lovely hippy chick is Nicole Sparks. This is a truelly enjoyable lady, I'm sure. At least if she is like the way she'd dressed in this shoot...

Here's her gallery

2007-03-29T23:28:00.000+01:00

Hi PatientBloggers

I'm afraid it going to be lots of small awkward posts at the moment, as I'm behind, and have lots of crap I wanted to update you with, that doesn't really work together, but we'll see what we can do. Have a browse and realise none of this is in the order it actually occurred.

And now I have a secret 'hit counter' so I know there's a fair few of you looking at this, and it's appreciated, but leave some bloody comments. I get lonely. Just give me gyp for being shit, I don't care.

To the point and parcel, to follow up from High'Zines first mundane video, 'How to decorate a room', I proudly give you:

Mundane Video 2: How to Build a Wheel
Music by the Dresden Dolls

2007-03-29T23:04:00.000+01:00

Ok So I'm a fair bit late to put up 'topical' Chicksands Jam pics as the event was last weekend, so as a change I thought we'ed have some Chick-Art (I think the name may be misleading).

To call it art is a little pretentious, but fuck it, we all know how good I am, so lets roll with it.

There will be more to come all going well. Possibly from this sundays 4X or tomorrows Critical Mass. Get yourselves to London people.

2007-03-12T22:00:00.000+01:00

CHICKSANDSBLOGAGAIN
That time again I guess

Myself and Stu wen't up to Chicky on sunday, as we have done a lot recently. I would say Al and Ivor turned up too, but that would be stretching it as we met them about 4pm (after we got there about 11am). Lazy sods.

Good times were had until the Brooklyn broke. This was a suprise to all, as it seemed likely the world would cave in on itself before the American lump of steel had any form of frame failure. But no, let down by a shitty steel bolt (M5 for those that care, ha, I know one of you does).

So as it was I took to 'The Camera', and got some of the first riding pictures I've produced in a while, but while the sun was beaming all morning, as soon as I got behind the camera, the clouds came in en'force.

Here's Stu, dropping big, on a pink hardtail with orange clown-hair acting as an airbrake.

Usually myself and Stu have a big whip-train going over this apre-drop jump.
I'm gutted.

But then, all the prayers in the world came together, and a friendly soul who had taken liking to the Brooky earlier, came to ask why I was taking pictures. When all was explained he offered me a bike for the afternoon. What a star!

So that's how ended up with this beaut of a jump-bike keeping me occupied.
How good is the world sometimes?

When I finally gave it back, it was back to the mainline to capture the local style mongs

Don't know the name of this flat-boy, but he sure is flat.

And here's Identiti's Pat mid 3 over the last.

On the note of Identiti, a big thanks to Matt from ID for sending me free mugs and stickers, for no apparent reason other than my calling his team crap.

They make the kitchen cupboard a brighter place.

A Queen Adreena card and a mohican.
I rock.

Today's softcore was a split between 3 good options, but the under-age latina won out.
Karla Spice and her gallery

2007-03-10T23:29:00.000+01:00

Aliens Vs. Mountain Bikers.
The graphics make it.

2007-03-09T21:35:00.000+01:00

Only a mini post to follow that uber effort.

Went to Hanningfield Resevoire today, and y'know there's some little ecentricities in the world that just make you smile.

This made me smile.

Some-one went to all this effort, for no real reason, and it was worth every bit of it. This is design at it's most core.

And my leg is still bruised. BUY BONGO's

2007-03-09T20:37:00.000+01:00

W00p, Yesterday was a fookin cracking day BlogAnamaniacs.

However, before I go on, it was made 100% lovlier, by the fact I had the Amelie soundtrack playing most of the day, and just felt like I was in some French meadow in the sunshine.

Here's a taster (open in in a new window/tab. Dolt).
Download the album from here. It's incredible.

ok, so..

Sun was shining, weather was fine (name that tune[paraphrased]) so I got on the bike, charged up the camera, and went to Maldon.
Oh yeah, and got a hair-cut. Sweet.

So for the first time, I offer you High'Zine 'views of Essex' PC wallpaper.

'tever. They're just photo's really.

IT LOOKS LIKE SUMMER

Hopefully, those brake levers will dissappear before too long, and funny backwards leg muscles will appear.

Wow, just wow. What a look, what a beard.
I fucking rock.

What you'd see if you rode bikes and didn't have arms.
I guess.

Lovely stretch of road, lovely sunny warm day, only a crash and gravel rash could have ruined it.
Here i tried to pre-emt that moment, but failed to fall off.

If you're icons are on the left of the screen, here's your wallpaper, if they're on the right, there's nothing you could possibly do to make this photo work

dipshits.

Barge, Maldon. Oooh, young man.
(fucking old skool humour)

Yes, I set this up. Yes, no-one else cares, but by the time I'm 70, I'm gonna have pictures of this bike in almost every location on the planet.

At least I'll know the bike has travelled.

I actually took this with a background wallpaper in mind. It's now my background wallpaper. Could do with being blue-er water though, might have to do some photo-shopping.

This bloke has the life. Thursday afternoon, on a boat, looking like a lumberjack.

Another wallpaper for all you dreamers.
Go watch 'The Dreamers'.

So I was looking for somewhere to smoke up, and I see these two lone tree's just calling to me... fate

I'm not sure what this is. Or why I took it's photo, but it seemed friendly.

And this is why road bikes are great, whatever the homosexual lycra wearing leg shaving connotations it may have.

2007-03-07T15:28:00.001+01:00

2007-03-06T21:43:00.000+01:00

High'Zine Original Films
Presents

How to change your Life (Room) in 2 Weeks of Easy Steps

2007-03-06T16:07:00.000+01:00

Awsome Blogsoggybiscuiters.

You know what last night was don't you? You must.
The Original Songwriters Club in West Kensintons first taste of BakerDay. After an epic journey of walking miles up and down feckin North End Road, first to find the venue, then to find Macdonalds, then to refind the Venue, a great night led on, to be finished by watching Russell Brand get a blow-job on a train from an ex-work colleague.

Ok, it wasn't really Russell Brand, but he had the look and the goby attitude.

You can see from the pics, that this venue was clearly straight from Coyote Ugly. And the female performers had the looks to match (and to be fair, the voices too).

Here's a quick clip of the train journey home. Sorry no sounds, but check out www.myspace.com/bakerday1 to hear what the fuss is about.

Oh, and keep your eyes open for Mr Brand in the video. Not getting a BJ I should add. Though much to our amusement a random guy sitting on the train told us "If it makes it any better, I don't think he came"

Fucking Classic.

And here's a picture of my leg this morning. A fine lesson in why people should carry more Bongo's, and not use their legs as drums.

Todays softcore is kindly brough to you by Me. As ever, but features Mindy Vega (Oh, I wish that was her real name. How laughs would be had) and her gallery

2007-02-26T22:02:00.000+01:00

Could this be the most European picture in the world. Good times, to be had for sure.

I miss not being in England

2007-02-22T16:23:00.000+01:00

Rob and Shasta will be at the above soon. Gits.

2007-02-21T16:47:00.000+01:00

BA's announced that all flights are suspended until further notice.

When asked for a comment, BA said "I ain't getting on no plane, crazy fool".

Anyway, on a mosre serious note. Chuck Norris. Never joke about Chuck Norris.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship

2007-02-20T22:46:00.001+01:00

Rally Cars.
We've all seem 'em launching over hump-back bridges, and sometimes getting some decent height.

This is none of that, this is a 50+ foot Motocross jump. Eejit.

Rally Car Jump - The funniest bloopers are right here

2007-02-19T23:28:00.000+01:00

Evening Silentblogs

let this play while you are reading onwards:

Truelly an inspiration to any guitarist once they get past the smashing power-chords stage.

Staying on the Aussie topic, I'm geting massively into Triple J radio station at the moment. This station is massive in Aussie, and is alternative music based. Each year on Aussie DAy (26th Jan) they play the Triple J Top 100, which is clearly a centenary of the best tracks of the year. And from what the locals tell me, it's a really big thing down there, cos they all have the day off for Australia Day, so everyone gets together, gets a Barbeque going and had Triple J blasting indie/rock music out all over the country.

The UK would be playing Beyonce and 50cent. Hardly the right atmosphere eh?

Check out the radio-station here and if you're into downloading music/torrents, type in 'triple J hotest 100' and get a damned good collection of tracks from around the world.

Also been enjoying the powers of photo-shop recently and magically produced the below for a friend. Been a while since the programmes been played with, I forget it's fun.

Anyhow, might as well sort you a little softcore, just to keep you'll coming back.
Dakota South (cool name)

and her gallery

2007-02-19T00:15:00.000+01:00

Look, we have to shave our faces every day. What’s so sexist about throwing some bush maintenance into the armpit and leg thing? We eat way more pussy than boomers, so we know what we’re talking about. Anything hairier than this is unacceptable.

VICE Magazine (if you see it, grab it, then give it to me. It's fuckin Hens Teeth)

2007-02-18T23:23:00.000+01:00

Today we rode Chicksands. It was such a fantastic days riding that I left my camera in the car for the duration. Bummer. I suck at this.

So in order to give you something to look at, here's a small pic of the website I designed for my uni final project.

I was trying to find myself on the net, but multiple searches of mike skinner, stretch, brooklyn, bike, mini-link and such turned up nothing till this. Loser

2007-02-17T22:56:00.000+01:00

Only lesbians and nerds are into Lara Croft. If you are a truly healthy heterosexual male you should have a gray, furry boner right now because this piece of perfection makes you feel like an evil wolf. Sorry to sound so rapey. Of course consent is a big part of it, but truth be told this is a lot more appealing to men than some “kick ass” chick that does a backflip and then shoots the head off a rattlesnake.

2007-02-16T21:49:00.000+01:00

Girls Love Ponies. We all know why:

He was harder than this when I stopped, but my staring clearly put his mind off.

Hi BlogFCKRS, managed to keep my camera charged recently, so we may be back to the good old days of actually having some mundane shite to share with y'all.

The joy of bikes y'see (semless linking is my greatest pride) is that you get to see places differently, and ride past water and notice a sunset like this, then capture it.

The joy of snowboarding is the sunsets look like this

Oh and the snowboard girls are gorgeous, the resorts have a great fashion sense, with expensive clothes that you actually want to buy, and France is gonna allow smoking for a year longer than the UK. And even after that the French are pretty likely to stick up a finger (and a cigarette) at anyone that tries to stop them smoking. They love that shit, protests and lung cancer that is.

I made rob a leaving video, however I'm a bit rubbish, and the file is massive, and youtube is even more rubbish and won't let it play properly.

And there's an even bigger vid I made with a nice bitta music, and some reflected clouds. but that won't play either.

So here is some beatiful scenery, and some carpentry in a video far more worthwhile than mine

And your softcore. Hippy chicks rule.

And here's her gallery

2007-02-14T00:33:00.000+01:00

Happy Valentines Blog, you romantic Wolfmothers.

2007-02-05T23:03:00.000+01:00

Yo spermrecepticalblogs.

I'm back from France, saw pretty much no Neige, but still boarded on the dirt. Woke daily surrounded by fucking hot women, but generally they were just cleaning the corridor or something, and I pretty much went back to sleep after that.

Slow month though, fuck. I was well looking forward (chav English at its finest there) to coming home to England, was bored as fuck, not getting drunk as much as I wanted to, had no intoxicants etc etc, and it's all good until about 45 minutes into the plane journey, and I suddenly think, fuck me, I'm leaving the Alpine winter seasonnaires life to come back to Essex. Dip effin shit.

And I'm back 1 night and I get sent this,

This company (Competative Enterprise Institute, acronym: FUCKWITS) sum up what all travellers and like minded people are running away from.

No, not specifically the eco side of this companies policy, but the fact that they have the face to publically state "yes, we know pollutants damage the world irreparibly, but companies will make less profit if we make efforts to change this". Morality vs Money. Battle and War has been lost.

This is, oh god, there's no words for it, it's beyond infuriating, how can such a powerful company be so fucking debonaire. How much are the corperations backing them (moniteraly) that they can actually bring themselves to do this, then wander home after work to see their families?

Jeebus, I'm sitting here shaking. Letter bombs and digging up their dead family members are too good for the people in charge of this.

This website tries to back up it's views fairly (on important issues at least), so pop along and see what FUCKWITS have to say: http://www.cei.org.

More cheerful Francey or Essexy things when I calm down and get out.

2006-12-25T17:39:00.003+01:00

Hey guys, there's far more to the plane story...

I got there 20 minutes before check in, there's loadsa problems so I actually check in 10 minutes before take-off, leg it through the airport, get searched, and there-fore lose another 5 minutes. have to get a train to the terminal. Meet some-one else on my plane, get towards boarding gates 5 minutes after due take-off. Get on, then sit in the plane for anotheer 40 minutes waiting for people. that unlike me, couldn't be bother to run.

So we land an hour late, and wait for it. Loads of luggage is missing, including mine. Seems the Stanstead baggqage machine broke down, so they just left it there. After all end of chasing over a long period, it finally turned up yesterday (sunday). So I've had a few days of being a smelly grease-monkey, but hey hum. All here now.

Anyhow, bought myself a Christmas present of some boarding boots yesterday, so that's nice :)

Sitting here waiting for our Christmas Barbie (Aussies...), then maybe some slleep. secret santa. then work.

Speak to you soon! xx

2006-12-19T22:27:00.000+01:00

2006-12-19T18:48:00.000+01:00

Alright bloggo's, this may be my last post before I leave for a real white christmas.

This is pretty etch-a-sketch, so scan through, and maybe you'll find a fiver on the floor. Alternatively you'll leave here in a brief flicker of time, not post any comments, and I'll continue to believe no-one reads this. Cunts.

First up, how sick-fuck pimp is this bit of machining! For those not in the bikes_are_cool crowd, it's just a bit of metal that stop you hitting your sprockets on rocks and such, but what machining. Pure sex.

Helena (whose are bigger, hers or Sarahs?), or Ms Byles as BBC Essex like to refer to her, is now famous.

"It most resembles a jumble sale really but without any money changing hands," organiser Helena Byles told edie.

"Put down to the basics we provide a location, usually parish hall, for people to bring things which they don't want anymore but that might be wanted by someone else.

"We do not collect stuff before, people bring it on the day and it gets divided into different categories; household, garden, toys, books etc and put in those areas by them or us.

"People are free to look around and take what they want the whole time."

* a shrug and a stifled yawn before continuing typing*. Yeah, so that's great, and you can find out more about our local superstar here

In more exciting news, here's an iconic photo of this period in our lives.

And heres one that's only iconic to myself.

and here's a photo of Matt in a busy pub 'playing it cool'. [rodney]

And Jo's house with lights. Gay

And some non-ginge softcore.

'Tever, I'm off to the snow.

2006-12-19T18:44:00.000+01:00

Before you Begin Blogscrews, i've no idea how legit this is, but it's a fantastic read if you take it as real, so try to.

Possibly the best letter ever to come out of the Inland Revenue....Taken
from the Guardian, this is apparently an actual letter sent by the Inland Revenue:

Dear Mr Addison,

I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply
to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you
raise. I will address them, as ever, in order.

Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last as a "begging
letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand".
This is how we at the Inland Revenue have always, for reasons of accuracy,
traditionally referred to such documents.

Secondly, your frustration at our adding to the "endless stream of
crapulent whining and panhandling vomited daily through the letterbox on to
the doormat" has been noted. However, whilst I have naturally not seen the
other letters to which you refer I would cautiously suggest that their
being from "pauper councils, Lombardy pirate banking houses and puissant
gas-mongerers" might indicate that your decision to "file them next to the
toilet in case of emergencies" is at best a little ill-advised. In common
with my own organisation, it is unlikely that the senders of these letters
do see you as a "lackwit bumpkin" or, come to that, a "sodding charity".
More likely they see you as a citizen of Great Britain, with a
responsibility to contribute to the upkeep of the nation as a whole.

Which brings me to my next point, whilst there may be some spirit of truth in
your assertion that the taxes you pay "go to shore up the canker-blighted,
toppling folly that is the Public Services", a moment's rudimentary
calculation ought to disabuse you of the notion that the government in any
way expects you to "stump up for the whole damned party" yourself. The
estimates you provide for the Chancellor's disbursement of the funds levied
by taxation, whilst colourful, are, in fairness, a little off the mark.
Less than you seem to imagine is spent on "junkets for Bunterish
lickspittles" and "dancing whores" whilst far more than you have accounted
for is allocated to, for example, "that box-ticking façade of a university
system."

A couple of technical points arising from direct queries:

1. The reason we don't simply write "Muggins" on the envelope has to do
with the vagaries of the postal system;

2. You can rest assured that "sucking the very marrows of those with
nothing else to give" has never been considered as a practice because even
if the Personal allowance didn't render it irrelevant, the sheer medical
logistics involved would make it financially unviable.

I trust this has helped. In the meantime, whilst I would not in any way
wish to influence your decision one way or the other, I ought to point out
that even if you did choose to "give the whole foul jamboree up and go and
live in India" you would still owe us the money. Please send it to us by
Friday.

Yours sincerely,
H J Lee
Customer Relations

2006-12-14T23:12:00.000+01:00

This little pushbike 'Zine (I lovetheterm pushbike. Surely as you progress you aim to never push?) has been a little low on cycle factoids recently, and a little high on the sacred feminine.

This was concerning me, until I happened on Fyxomatosis, the website that High'Zine could be if it tried harder. It's a fixed gear bicycle/courier site, that works around the main 3 factors of life.

Beautiful Bikes, Beautiful Ladies, and Beautiful Photo's of both.

So this guy basically, as well as various 'General Interest' sections, wanders about his life with his bike and camera (see the resemblance) and when he see's a hot lady, he gets them to pose on said bike for said camera.

If I say so myself, my DH bike is sex, so this principle could be expanded to the mountain bike world. Any interested parties, please tell me so. Promise to make you look good.

Softcore has nothing to attractive women on bike's, so if I can find the suppliers, this could be a new direction. To be fair, probably harder to find suppliers of than crack in a retirement home.

If this video works, enjoy your softcore. And a blast from the past.

2006-12-11T15:55:00.000+01:00

The News is spreading my children.

2006-12-04T19:41:00.000+01:00

Hey Blogslags. Jon here, keeping you up to date with the riding side of life. Unlike some, I find time to get out and ride, as a pose to just staying in and looking up softcore! DIRTY OLD GOAT.

Here are some pictures from a recent trip to Woburn. (Pictures courtesy of Dan Clarke at I ride a ped photography)

(Right) Dan with his signature 'dog wee'.

This was the highest Tim got all day.

2006-12-04T00:50:00.000+01:00

For George and any Eva Green lovers (ie.. anyone that has seen Casino Royal, or the Dreamers)

I am realising this (in theory) bike based magazine blog is mostly just softcore now, but then I counter that with a galelry of images of Ms Green in the toal and utter buff.

See here and click on any of the links.

2006-12-02T21:30:00.000+01:00

Anyone would think this isn't a normal place for a toaster.
Ideal Fones, they like to do things a little differently.

Bakerday, can be found at www.myspace.com/bakerday1
They've got some tasty songs, Freedom being my fave, and are thoroughly decent gents. Don't say High'Zine doesn't put anything back..

Btw, I am worth exactly $1,377,020.
find out your value to the world here and post it in the comments.

Why are Vegan girls so frequently hot?

2006-12-02T19:34:00.000+01:00

Yo Blogacne's (there's a pun there, y'see)

Today, HMV's aimed turn-over was £67,000. In one day of the hours 9 until 6, in a comparatively small town store.

For this money, 268 cows could be bought for farmers in Malawi (probably more without the admin theft, Oxfam sucks the metaphorical balls). And more interestingly, it took me 8 sets of brackets to find that out, and in the process of finding that out, I also discovered that a guy called smileydan5 will take lives for that amount, and i could get 67 night's with hookers (that charge £1k a night, clearly)

Anyhow, HMV is more enjoyeable than initially though, mostly because of the amount of nutters that come in, the amount of gorgeous females I work with (not that we get any time to talk, fuck customers), and my smug knowledge 'll be leaving within 10 days of starting, and getting a free Christmas dinner and drinks for my troubles.

Today's softcore is known as Lea and has large nipples, as visible in her gallery

2006-11-28T22:36:00.000+01:00

For you George.
A first for High'Zine I think, but I can't get some of my recent softcore pics to load, so if they've been complained about or similar. This should do the trick.

Fuck you blogspot.com, if you can't take a joke.

2006-11-28T22:15:00.000+01:00

Right, todays musical theme blogsellouts:
click here

cos the lyrics arn't very clear (can only find a live version) the lyrics are here

This song sums up HMV and my first day. Corperate whores, and I feel I'm being ass-fucked by every second I spend there.

How can punk rock still be alive when this is the average persons working day. Helping the corperations grow for 0.15% (thanks Rob) of the stores daily turn-over making a days wages. That percentage of the stores income toward keeping some-one living.

Lets say 20 people are working at any one time, 3% of the turnover keeps the staff alive and perhaps living.

Fuck it, at least I know I'm back off to France now. Who needs the cash in pocket when this is the trade-off.

I got you some softcore today, that like the rest, is probably from environmentally careless, cash not time, welfare is for the week movie companies that ban unions and talk with numbers.

But hey, when they look this good, morals go fish.

Latina and her gallery

Fake latina and her gallery.

Sorry if you don't like latina's, but at least you can get off in the fact they live in a different country from this one.

2006-11-27T20:34:00.000+01:00

Hokey Alllovedupblogs.

Click here then after that, here
Then wait for this to be playing before reading the blog. Thanking you.
if you like it watch the vids, if not, listen to it more till you like it. Do not move on until foot is tapping, do not collect an ounce of grass of a dodgy geezer, do not go directly to jail.

Oh and Rob, it's music, so plug your fucking speakers in. I know they're in the shop.

Ok, so it's been a pretty fucking slow week really. Did a wonderful drug for the first time, married Rob and Shasta at possibly my event of my recent memories, and got employed by HMV. fuck.

A wedding video will be made, but here's a 'street legal' idea

The idea was impromptu, so the outfits were improvised, but the emotions were over-powering.

Innocent and unaware. The couple before the wedding.

Matthew took on wedding planner duties, did a fucking amazing job of it, but nearly passed out he was running about and panicking so much.

I less than three (<3) this photo of Shas, Nuff Said

Rob, in his first choice of wedding outfit. It was worked on further...

The wedding in progress with Reverend High'zine (all bow) taking power over proceedings, Best man Matt, and Page girl (...) George (the indian) giving the readings.

Giving the rings. There were tears in the air.

On the Road. The ideology of the meeting of these two people

Did I mention, MDMA is mindblowing (not literally, at least not yet), made this whole thing concieveable, and as emotional as it was, and made it a time that I hope i'll never forget.

ROB, SHASTA England will be less for your absence.

Anyhow, onto more interesting things. err..

The picture below is not of me. The point being I didn't manage to find a courier job in London. Which I imagine being a mixture of heaven and hell, but then, the lows make the highs.

Considering I'm not gonna be a courier for at least the near future, I have instead been job hunting in Chelmsford. HMV looked a fun place to work, so I went and did a WRITTEN EXAM(!!) a well as an interview, did shite in the exam, then thought the guy doing the interview was hopeless, and let on as much. Yet they phone me today asking me to start tomorrow.

I am, slightly confusingly, gutted. I don't wan't to work (there). But hey, all going well, do about 10 days work, then quit and enjoy the free house in my possesion for a few days.

This post is getting too long now, and the music is probably ending, or has done, depending if you read this and look at the pictures, or scan over while mid wank.

Which brings me neatly to the following.

No softcore for a while, so Liz Viscious for Rob (and her gallery)

and this sweetie for myself (and her gallery)

and Selene Spice to control my latina lust (and her gallery)

how spoilt are you lot, not every blog delivers this level of customer satisfaction.

2006-11-26T22:13:00.000+01:00

2006-10-10T20:38:00.000+01:00

Punk Rock Vs Chavs?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8E0ArRDyXs

2006-10-06T15:08:00.000+01:00

Big-Up Arial Blogs.

Recently, in a stroke of magic, I flew over London, then dropped a bomb on Number 10. But then I awoke from my dream and found I'd shat the bed.

So onto our helicopter trip over the capital then.

This is the helicopter. The actual one, as opposed to any random helicopter.

And some sights and shit. Whatever really. I felt uber air-sick, and saw a city I dislike from another angle, and missed out on taking narcotics with friends who are leaving for other countries for 8 months.

Bit of a laugh though, and the person it was intended for enjoyed it greatly.

2006-10-05T11:11:00.000+01:00

Instant Interest

Has anyone picked up on Lloyds TSB's recent advertising campaign? Basically that as soon as you pay a cheque in, they will start to pay you interest, you don't have to wait days -

("DAYS!!" as the advert puts it, do we really live in such an instant gratification world, that someone gets angry about waiting a few days for interest to start. Acoffee to be made, maybe, but not a bank service)

- for the privelage.

I mean, when I pay a cheque in, those 3-4 days I haven't been paid interest (as the cheque hasn't actually cleared, so I don't really mind) have cost me a total of about 3pence maximum in lost income. I coulnd't really give a shit about this 3pence.

However, Lloyds are extending this service to all customers, which is a hell of a lot of 3pences, each and every day, which must cost them an absolute blinder.

so their new campaign, in my eyes, is basically costing them a tonne, and providing me a service I wasn't bothered about in the first place.

2006-10-01T23:41:00.000+01:00

Hey, I have a new dog.
His name is BB7
or Alfie for short.

Have Some softcore and her gallery. her name is Liz Viscious (err..)

Easiest blog ever

2006-09-27T20:32:00.000+01:00

Hey Hey you cuntfucking dicksucking assroaming cheeseblowing eat a cake sit on my face do it to mee ill give you a pee whats that whore worth grew up in perth blog fiends.

How the jism are you all then? I feel the blogging world has been quiet of late, so lets make some mother fucking noise.

I never get how people have that much energy all the time. Let Me put my position into place with a musical similie:

Here is the video to Nirvana's 'Heartshaped Box'. You may have heard/seen it before (probably), if so, save yourself the effort and don't listen again, it hasn't changed.

However here is how it sounds in my happy little world "Mike Heartshaped Box"

Anyhow, here is a computer image of what Myself and Matt spend the day doing in 'Robs Shop'.

Obviously this isn't the actual event, as the actual event was far more stupid, and consisted of lots more 02 brochures, a can of WD40 and a lighter.

Also constructed a tower out of Boxes of phones, valued at roughly £1000, and suprisingly it didn't all fall over.

BTW, I apoligise for the sickeningly egocentric post below, but well, Jon (grow up and one day you'll ave an H) posted it, so it wasn't egocentric at all. I just haven't deleted it, cos i'm an attention whore. (geddit?)

My job agency is calling my mother and informing her of jobs available for myself, as they don't trust me to check answerphones for messages. (like they know I'm a technophobe [that's posting a blog on the internet??])

Handy as this theoretically could be, it also means I can't turn down jobs I don't fancy (cos they're "a bit shit") as parents know about their existance. I may complain to the agency about this. Invading privacy or something.

i'm bored, I might put some France pics up sometime.

2006-09-23T12:29:00.000+01:00

"MIKE SKINNER PUTS ON AN IMPRESSIVE DISPLAY FOR THE SMOKERIDERS BOYS"

This is what a newspaper headline would have been if, one, mountain biking ever made it into any sort of newspaper and two, if Mike actually had put on an impressive display at Danbury for some of the visiting riders. As it happens, from the looks of things, mike put on a below average display in which the three most impressive pictures from www.smokeriders.co.uk were these...

I'm not angry, i'm just disappointed Michael!

2006-09-11T10:37:00.000+01:00

rum/vodka
lime
sugar juice stuff
mint leaves

shot glass's
cards
French people
Caps

Headache.

2006-08-31T00:09:00.000+01:00

Damn those homosexuals. Will we never be able to cure this world of their most pink disease?

Well hopefully we soon will thanks to some pricks at Oregon Health and Science University, who have decided the best way to spend their time is by cutting open 'gay' sheep and lambs in order to examine their brains, hoping to find a cure for homosexuality.

Not only is this pretty fucking stupid in it's own rights, its another example of vivisection being used for the most trivial experiments, with no concern for the lives involved.

Help do something about it Blog-lovies.

http://getactive.peta.org/campaign/p2gaysheepexperiments

Sign it, unlike most internet petitions, PETA actually have the funds to back up their campaigns.

2006-08-21T23:42:00.000+01:00

This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, hey, that's what I'm going to use it on.
Who am I to judge him?

The great obesity epedemic of 2004
How did you get through it grandpa?
"Ohhh it was horrable johnny there was cheesecake and porkchops everywhere"

Another classic song for you're enjoyment
LazyBoy - Underwear goes outside

2006-08-15T00:54:00.000+01:00

This is the End of the World as we know it.

Just a quick update of a sad sad sad sad day here. While life over in Les Gets with the Brooklyn is still as good as ever, although the rain won't stop, I was informed of a piece of bad news today.

Farrell 'I'm the biggest cunt in the music industry' Williams of T.W.A.T fame (is that N.E.R.D.?) has recently purchased 2 Brooklyn Mini-Links for one of his music vids and 'Cruising to the Shops'....!!!!

And now he's bleedin gone and hooked up with the company, fed them some green stuff (dollars I believe, rather than useful green stuff) and collaborations may be ahead between Brooky and Pharells various gay companies.

For the first time ever I feel shame (a little at least) in riding a Brooklyn. WHY GOD WHY!!!

See Link: http://www.ride-central.com/cutenews/images/Brooky.jpg

Various pics of Mini-Link may show how dickhead William will never be using it.

2006-08-03T01:33:00.000+01:00

more of the same, in that it's music i suppose.

Have some gypsie punk music:
http://www.gogolbordello.com/chronicles/video/purple/index.html

Anyhow, how are all you ex blog cunt's??? I miss all your frequent if inane updates (ha!). Now in a phone-less world, which is actually a total joy, I do feel a little out of contact with the 'reel' world.

Sorry I'm not updating more but i'f im near internet in the bar i'm generally working or drinking.

Best paint-graphics for an Orange 223 ever I believe

Me having a little huck in the woods. Nice sun glare.

Ad having a little flip into the foam pit. This thing is too much fun.

Tim making kayakingf look too easy.

Here's some tour de france photo's. cos it came past our door.

The LondON bus, whatever that's about.

2006-07-17T23:35:00.002+01:00

Though you might like a bit of music in you're life, so here is CSS.

check out their vid "Lets make love and listen to death from above". They rock generally, and are made all the better by being on the SubPop label.

50 points for naming 5 other bands on said label, and a pat on the back.

Cansei de Ser Sexy also have a lovely myspace with another song to be found at http://www.myspace.com/canseidesersexy

enjoy all, back soon.

2006-07-05T22:29:00.000+01:00

Ding dong! Don't be so silly, thats not really a door bell! Here are some RANDOM pictures from a recent trip to Chicksands, courtesy of Sir Jon.

A no-legged saddle grope from the G-man.

Tim's fresh new ride.

Just imagine if that hole got any bigger...

Tim airing the step-up like quarter pipe, naughty, naughty!

And with a table.

Some form of furry reptile seems to have blocked my shot.

Here are Glenn's three knees after a slam on the 4X.

...it seems to have become bigger.

Oh lord! Zip up your fly's young man!

And finally, Watson apparently trying to eat his wheel.. again.

Thats your lot, 'peace out rabbits!' (as quoted by Glenn Osborne everyday for the past two weeks)

2006-07-03T15:56:00.000+01:00

It's taken me long enough, but here's some of the photo's from the winter, as well as other random catagories.

Not all of the photo's cos i didn't get around to uploading them all while I was at home, but here's Some.

http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y187/daneview/

2006-07-02T16:22:00.000+01:00

Hey Foreignblogs

First update from France-ay. Well second, cos I've done this once and the machine hated it, so I had to start over, so I'm bored and this is gonna be even more concise now.

Days consist of never sleeping, Riding from 9am till about 2pm, then sunning at the lake till dinner, and sitting in the bar till close, before resuming work. Hardest life in the world.

Riding stuff only for now cos I don't think we're on close enough terms with the work crew to put photo's of them sunbathing on the world wide web.

Fags And James on the Chairlift. Obviously.

Two randoms making some hay into the berm.

Tim I think on the 10 percent berm. too steep for the photo to show.

Fast boy Matt back end out into the loose stuff.

Lovely Scenic Shot.

Here's James (barman) and F.A.G.S. (Bike buddy) on the biggest berm in the world (unoffici obviously)

biggest berm in the world

and here's the same pair on the top section of the Chavannes fast as fook course:

Gap Jump Section

Everyone is Les Gets rides super slow and super gay except Le Boomerang crew, who are all so hot the make burns victims plastic face masks look cool.

And Matt (Chalet Whore) managed to clock up a vunderbar 57mph on track whilst out with a GPS toy the other day that we get to borrow.

2006-06-24T10:14:00.000+01:00

Reverb Selecta!

Jon (with less H than something that has no H at all) here.
Well now the sun has come out to play, I've finally been able to set up the beloved trampoline!

Of course, everything revolves around riding these days, so with this came the idea of a trampoline bike!

So after a whole lot of looking around in the shed, Me and Timmy found enough parts to build a hardcore 'tramp bike', and here it is:

So with the bike ready to go, a big bouncy circle and some half-naked young men, it was time to begin the unsane past-time, now known as 'tramp biking'.

Tim here with a one-footed tabletop above the pretty little wendy house.

Glenn with a smily suicide above the same house.

Here's me the most 'knees over' table ever known to man.

Timmy and another of his table variations.

The most perfectly pictured over x-up this side of Cambodia.

Glenn with an extremely over-stretched suicide.

Here is me, apparently trying to kick down, or stand on the swing set

What a fantastic time we diddily had, however I would strongly recommend you don't try this at home because: "tramp biking is for pricks" (quoted by Glenn Osborne, everyday for the past two weeks).

Streblo Blogfruities.

2006-06-17T14:07:00.000+01:00

This is Streblo

watch it and absorbe

testing 1,2,3.

2006-06-17T11:05:00.000+01:00

seems i can update straight from firefox now. super-cool.

check out the 'performancing' add-on on the firefox page if iyu're gay enough to care.

2006-06-17T10:27:00.000+01:00

Important Links For Mikey in France

(and may interest others?)

Lilly Allens Myspace

Jules's Blog

Video Upload Site

Bob's Blog

George's Blog

Uni Ringo Site

Sam's Bike Vid

Rodney Mullen Incredible Video

Latino Softcore

Reliable Softcore...

2006-06-15T21:43:00.000+01:00

A little story from the guys at www.carsrcoffins.com

Bikes+Punk Rock=Freedom.

I was raised on a steady diet of bicycles and punk rock. Bicycles gave me the freedom to explore outside my neighborhood. Music, and especially punk music, gave expression to the angst that a kid growing up in Reagan-era America tended to feel. By my youthful definition, punk meant anything loud, abrasive, and unlikely to be heard on the radio. Around the age of 12, I witnessed art-punk pioneers Devo performing on Saturday Night Live. At about the same time, a kid named Mark Halliwell moved to town from Liverpool. Halliwell brought with him his collection of Sex Pistols records and raced at the local BMX track. I knew right at that moment, that punk music, combined with bicycles, would always be a part of my life.

Now in America, if you ride a bicycle beyond the age of 14, you are considered an anomaly at best, a freak by most. But at an age when most American youths were worrying about their acne, and itching to get their driver's permits, I continued to race my BMX, and search out the subversive punk bands that I read about in Action Now magazine at the local library. X, Black Flag, Circle Jerks, The Clash, Flipper, The Damned, Gang of Four.

When I got to college, it became obvious that the status quo was all about chasing the carrot; getting a university degree in order to make enough money to live the "American Dream." The message seemed to be, "Sorry son, but play time is over. Put away the bicycle, put away the punk rock records. You've got work to do." Bollocks to that, I said. I live in Minneapolis. Bands tour through here all the time. I've got access to live music seven nights a week. And what better way to get to the venue than on my bike? I can enjoy that 4th, 5th, 6th drink, get my punk rock on, and not worry about driving home drunk after the show. Plus, in the cold Minneapolis winters you can stash your jacket, hat, and gloves in the messenger bag, check it at the coat check, and not have to sweat through the band's set with your parka on. Unless you want to see a show at the 400 Bar on the West Bank. Those motherfuckers have some posturing rock star attitude, and don't allow messenger bags or backpacks of any kind, and yet don't offer a coat check. Apparently they expect you to drive a car. But what would you expect from a bar that charges $4 for a pint of shit domestic beer? Fuck 'em.

Oh, and I did finish my degree; English Literature. Still, I never left the bike industry and being a hack bike journo let's me put that degree to use. Sort of. But I'll never quit riding, never quit rocking. Pass me a pint!

Cheers,
-Hurl

2006-06-15T20:38:00.000+01:00

Alright Blogpikeys.

I've now finished work. Which is nice. Hopefully won't have to be repeated all going well. ever.

but more importantly, we have squirrels that eat nuts in amusing ways in our garden, enjoy.

Nuts give you strong tails apparently

Yes, even a cold bastard like myself can see this is sickeningly cute.

Now don't get me wrong. I do infact love summer, truelly appreciate the sun, and am at my happiest when the cold weather is a figment of nightmares. However, I DON'T NEED ENJOYEMENT INSTRUCTION'S FROM CHILLED FOOD PACKAGES!!!

Which cheery business school cunt at Sainsburies felt the need to force feed summer happiness commands down my throat along with my honey roast ham slices.

Here's myself puting the summer cheer ham slices to use alongside some medium cheese in a toasty maker. Which makes more table mess than toasties, but ho hum.

Also:

Oh yeah,
and I bought a Brooklyn Machine Works MiniLink FQ (For the Queen). Which was nice.

2006-06-09T21:00:00.000+01:00

Ok, A little bit of history for you people not fully in the High 'Zine 'know'.

High 'Zine was in fact, originally, before, and previous to this, supposed to be a 'real' magazine (hence the, errr, 'Zine part), the sort you take to the toilet (with the exclusion of WAP toys). So much so, that there is even a front cover, contents page, and about 15 pages of articles and photo's sitting on my pc waiting to be offered to the real world, from a small number of contributors.

One such contributed article I never got around to prettying up was by the loveable 'Hairy Dave', and it is in-fact wonderful, so I present it to you here and now; Enjoy..

Life as a Mountain Biker Without a Sense of Smell...

Mountain Biking: Another Perspective I have been asked to write this article in the interests of equality. It proves that people of all physical abilities can be involved in our beautiful sport. Obviously I can walk and all that, or I wouldn’t be able ride, would I? But I have a different crippling disability. I can’t smell. Think about it for a moment. When you line yourself up for the eight pack at your local trails, preparing yourself both mentally and physically for the exertion of the upcoming airtime, and you suddenly catch a whiff of the wildflowers in the meadow. Or, if your trails are in Manchester, the smell of the waste from the curry’n’kebab shop. Whichever. Anyway, in this moment your being is transformed; you become connected with your surroundings, co-existent with the world around you. You are at one with the trails. It feels wonderful, doesn’t it? It is both liberating and involving, with the freedom of expression but the safety of a visceral connection, a feeling of belonging. Now imagine me. I sit there, mentally preparing myself for the upcoming effort of the trails, totally alone and with no sense of ‘oneness’. I must battle the jumps alone, for I have no way of connecting with them. I must wage my own war, and therefore it becomes an epic struggle of wit against brute dirt. Which is why I’m not as good at dirt jumping as you. So next time you see me, or anyone else, struggling through a tricky set of trails, don’t leap to criticise. Stop for a minute and imagine how it must feel to be alone in the world. Maybe you’ll think twice before laughing at someone’s riding ability next time. Dave p.s. It can be good though. If someone lets out a disgusting fart at the trails I don’t even notice.